imperfect life solider


and all the things that you never ever told me
and all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me



ryAn.
seventeen.
twelfth grade.
no documented job.
layout creator.
future novelist.

this is my story i'm a future novelist with a passion for writing, drawing and sharing my opinions. one day i'll be on Border's bookshelves' so look for me there. enjoying a more out-going year then last, i've found myself all over again. the true person i was underneath it all was hiding under an ugly demon that possessed my mind and soul, making me think all those awful thoughts. now i'm back on the social scene, trying to prove that being creepy is a bit okay. between top hats, canes, suits and cut-off fingered gloves, i'm crawling my way to the top of the approval list. the dark ideas and twisted ideals that lurk inside my memory is a place only treaded by the brave, slightly demented and those whom volunteer at a haunted house with me. so come, lets walk along our jingling path from the chains on our pants and the heart in our hands; i've got the story of a person metaphorizing right before your eyes on these pages.
//ryAn

acredited
The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance
I Kissed Her by Terminal Choice

loner_in_the_world_Ryan
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit loner_in_the_world_Ryan's Xanga Site!

Name: Ryan


Message: message me


Member Since: 9/29/2006

SubscriptionsSites I Read
a_thief_and_a_liar
creativewriting104
LoveDarkx3
stylesheet_central

Blogrings (10 of 11)
 DeviantART Members 
previous - random - next

Write...write...write...
previous - random - next

 I can write.
previous - random - next

Fanfiction Junkies united
previous - random - next

young and unjustifiably cynical
previous - random - next

·We Write Because We Can·
previous - random - next

Flock Of The Future Authors
previous - random - next

!!ANIME!!
previous - random - next

~*ANIME PRODUCTIONS*~
previous - random - next

 Imagination Unlimited.
previous - random - next

View all blogrings

Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Life Celebration

flower
I was originally going to post this when we held the "services" but I don't want to wait any longer.

This is a blog for another one of my family members that passed away on December 15th, eerily with the obituary of my cousin [who died 7.9.09] in her hand. She really was a lovely woman that didn't deserve the life she ended up having. I'm gladly left with positive memories of times we did crafts, hung out and watch Lord of the Rings, oddly enough.

Rest in peace, Lori. <3
//ryAn


Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas Children

Hope your day was as enjoyable as could possibly be. Sorry to you other religions, I love you just the same. Its just that I celebrate Christmas and don't believe in total political correctness or however you'd refer to it.

Anyhozzles, a good one to you and yours, loves.
//ryAn


Saturday, December 05, 2009

College Is Suddenly So Clear...

I'm in a program that helps kids with a average-high average grade point averages get the skills and information they need to go to college. Its a great program who's sponsors put a lot of money into me and the other students in the program and taught us a ton about the ACT and how to get to college. One of the things they told us is that when you visit a college after seeing the campus, you know exactly if you're going to go there or not.

Well, let's just say I had an epiphany.

I took a tour through Bowling Green State University's campus on a blustery, snowing day being lead by the daughter of a family friend that attends there. That place is amazing and the friend I went with agrees. Since my friend is a year behind me in high school she's going to finish off school while I attend a cheap local university to get the general courses done that will transfer over to BGSU. Then we're totally going to meet up there and board together. It couldn't be a more perfect opportunity, we both have the same habits as far as sleeping, getting ready and getting dressed in the morning so I can see us living together in a cramped little room. :D

Here's goes nothing. To progress, my good friends!
//ryAn


Tuesday, November 03, 2009

A Moment Of Silence

In these desperate times, this I plead... when all else fails, remember me.

That's all I really want.  So what do I want to be remembered for, anyway?  That's a question we should all ask ourselves; it might help us carry ourselves more in the way other's see us as compared to how we see ourselves.

I want to be remembered for the crazy outfits I wore and the way I carried myself.  How every morning I need a theme to dress up to, or else I'm at a loss of what to wear.  May sound lame, but it works damn it!  Say that I feel particularly elegant that day, I might grab a dress shirt, vest and pair of dress shoes to throw on, not to mention that black and white checkered top hat with the skulls in the checkers.  That's a friend favorite.  I usually get compliments on what I wear and I always try to look good every day.  I refuse to bu sweat pants, lest I like them a little too much.  Wouldn't want to seem sloppy.

I want to be remembered for the shit I said.  And oh boy, have I said some shit.  I don't want people to remember my opinions on everything, I just want them to have a little chckle to themselves when they happen upon something that reminds them of me.  Even if I'm not there.  Its a nice thought.  Little inside jokes and occasional fancies of mine pop up when I'm not around, so I want it to continue like that.

I want to be remembered for my writing.  As a future novelist, this is probably the most important to me.  Forget how the fuck I looked, forget the stupid shit I've done, forget all those damned mistakes I ever made.  If I were to die today, I would be leaving behind a substansial amount of unfinished writing.  I want my family and friends to read every last piece, no matter how much they hate it.  Why?  Because there's a little piece of me in everything I write.  Maybe they'll notice the random pieces of my life thrown into the stories by a reference to something I really like or really hate, or maybe they read a piece of writing where I subtly snuck my best friend and myself in.  Who knows?  All I do know is that the writing will be the everlasting mark I leave when I do, whether I be famous yet or not.

This idea popped in my head when, in my Creative Writing class, we were asked to find a song that meant something to us.  I chose the song Desperate Times by Killswitch Engage, a deep song no matter how shallow people think screamo rock is.  The song itself is about worrying if people will remember the person when they die, how they're struggling with so many troubles that they were surprised to see that someone else has ensured that they will always be remembered.  I think there's someone like that in most people's lives that, whether they know it or not, will keep the memory of someone else whom has died alive for as long as they live themselves.

What do you want to be remembered for when you die?


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Oh, I want to go... outside...

I'M INFECTED.

I had to take the ACT standardized test in order to start my climb to the way to success... and I did it with a fever of 102. Suck it flu. >:|
//ryAn



Next 5 >>


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones





<